


Fanservice

by bakanekofan



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: First Kiss, Gaming, Livestreaming/Twitch, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Squip, Recreational Drug Use, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 19:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17289620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakanekofan/pseuds/bakanekofan
Summary: While Jeremy was Squipped, Michael started a retro gaming channel on Twitch, which he keeps up with even now and has a bit of a following, but his fans want to meet Jeremy, who he talks about frequently on his streams, and when Jeremy finally agrees to do it, something unexpected happens.Also a note about the rating- only rated mature for mentions of marijuana.





	Fanservice

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to RTGame and Lewis of Yogscast, as the idea for this came from something that happened to them during a Jingle Jam stream (different ending, different people- obviously- different games, but just really loosely based on the concept). I'm sure most of you know, even if not the individual by name, who/what Yogscast is, so I'm not going to say anything more there, but RTGame, I love you man. Seriously, go check him out guys. He's the only gamer I'll actually sit and watch a livestream of, hilariously entertaining, I sort of stole his Yelp Review meme for this fic (had to do it). He's got highlight videos on YouTube under the name RTGame and he's on Twitch as RTGamecrowd, his schedule's there, try to catch him if you can, you won't regret it.
> 
> In other news, I'm sorry if they seem a bit OOC here, especially Jeremy I think got a little out of hand, but it's still cute, and I'm blaming most of that on the weed and artistic liberty.

Summer before senior year had just begun, and already things were different for everyone at Middleborough. Jeremy was dating Christine, for one, both he and Michael were now lovingly dubbed “the honorary cool kids,” and things were mostly back to normal with Michael and Jeremy. They didn’t see as much of each other as they used to, mostly because they were both busy with their own things, which wasn’t all bad. Jeremy was spending more time with Christine and Michael with a newfound hobby. While Jeremy had been Squipped, Michael had needed something to take his mind off of his best friend, and had started a retro gaming Twitch Stream. At first he didn’t have many followers at all, but as the months went on, he steadily gained popularity and, by the time summer came around, he had about 900 loyal followers plus a few that would pop in and out of streams- it had actually become a somewhat profitable hobby.

That’s not to say he never made any time for his best friend, however, and there were a few occasions he had to cancel or reschedule streams to accommodate spending time with Jeremy over playing games by himself for the entertainment of strangers, and on more than one occasion, his followers had requested for him to have Jeremy join him on the stream. Michael had brought the idea up to Jeremy a few times, but Jeremy had always refused, saying he was too awkward to go in front of a camera and that he’d be no good at it. While Michael had disagreed with his opinion, he didn’t pressure him into it.

On this particular occasion, though- the very first day off of school, Michael was scheduled to start his usual stream in about half an hour, and Jeremy was over, so he brought it up again. “I know you’re going to say no, but  _ please _ Jeremy? It’d be really fun if you just-”

“We’ve been over this.” Jeremy groaned.

“I know but it’s- you don’t even have to look at the chat or the camera or anything, just talk to me!” Nothing from Jeremy, he wasn’t budging. Michael sighed, “Alright, how about this-” He pulled out his stash of pre-rolled blunts and waved the baggie in front of Jeremy’s face, “Just to help you relax. It’ll be really chill, we’ll play some Apocalypse of the Damned like old times, you won’t even know we’re rolling.”

Pushing the bag out of his face, Jeremy asked, “If I do it once- ONE time, will you promise never to ask again?”

Grinning, Michael nodded in agreement, “Shake on it. I’ll never ask again unless you decide you want to come back.” He held out his hand and, with a sigh, Jeremy took it. The remainder of the time before the stream was spent smoking and setting up for it. Luckily, Michael had a microphone on a stand in addition to his headset, so they were able to just use that instead of the headset, and a quick soundcheck came back reading both of their voices just fine. It was decided that they were going to introduce Jeremy as a surprise guest before they started the game up, so Jeremy went just out of frame as Michael turned the camera on. Grinning from ear to ear, Michael said, “Hey guys! So in case you can’t tell, I’m really excited today. Summer vacation just started today, and that’s great, but there’s nothing better than being able to spend my first day of summer before senior year with my best friend in the world, so for this stream, we’re going to do something a little different, and I’m going to have a surprise guest. So without further ado, here’s the man and legend himself, my best friend of thirteen years, Jeremy!”

Already, Jeremy was regretting his decision to do this, but Michael being such an absolute dork about it was helping ease his tension, “Michael, you absolute geek.” He teased, easing himself into his usual beanbag and waving awkwardly at the camera.

“Yeah, but you love me.” Michael shot back with a grin before redirecting his attention to the camera, “So here’s the thing. Jeremy’s never actually done a stream before, so just- go easy, okay? Scaring him off in the first five minutes would not be ideal. I know how rowdy you guys get in chat sometimes and that’s fine normally, but just… tone it down for today.” Already the chat was blowing up with questions, most of which directed at Jeremy, but Michael chose to ignore them, and Jeremy didn’t even know where to look to see the chat. “One thing a lot of you have asked about that I’ve always kind of ignored because I wanted to save it for a special occasion like today is about my tattoo, which you’ve seen poking out of my sleeve sometimes. So, full reveal time.” He pulled back the sleeve of his hoodie to reveal the Pac-Man tattoo, then looked to Jeremy pleadingly.

“I already hate you for this and we haven’t even started. You know that, right?” Jeremy huffed, but he rolled up his own sleeve obediently and pushed his arm against Michael’s.

“We got these when we were fifteen from the back room of a super shady tattoo parlor downtown. Honestly it’s a miracle we didn’t get infections or diseases from it.” Michael informed his viewers, “Symbol of friendship.”

“More like a binding contract.” Jeremy interjected, but he was joking, of course.

His high loosening his lips, Michael said something he never would have under normal circumstances, “Which one of us stuck to better than the other.” He seemed to realize his mistake immediately, though, and winced as Jeremy pulled his arm back, tugging the sleeve down. “Jer-”

“No, you’re right.” Jeremy said quietly, “Just not something I want to air out in public.”

Michael pulled his own sleeve back into place and nodded, “Let’s uh... “ He’d forgotten until Jeremy mentioned ‘public’ that they were even doing the stream for a moment. Forcing his energy level back up to acceptable standards, he suggested, “Let’s play some Apocalypse of the Damned!”

“Level ten?” Jeremy asked, though his entire demeanor had changed- closed off and more subdued.

“Yeah, I think that’s the last one, right?” Michael affirmed, adjusting the video to have the camera only in the corner and the rest of the screen on the game itself. Jeremy only nodded in response, picking up his controller. “A bit of backstory here, Apocalypse of the Damned, Jeremy and I have been playing for the better part of two years. We barely managed to beat level nine last time we played and haven’t touched it since, so we’re a bit rusty.” Multiple questions in chat asking if Jeremy was okay and what had happened. Michael ignored them and started up the level.

As the game went on, Michael and Jeremy seemed to get back to their usual selves, even dating back to before the Squip, as their muscle memories and usual callouts took over completely. It took them a bit over an hour to beat the level, taking time on the game over screens to go over what they’d done wrong and would improve on the next attempt and teasing one another lightheartedly for stupid mistakes and miscalculations. As the credits on the game began to roll, Jeremy sat back in his beanbag and said, “Man, end of an era.”

“I know, right? We’re going to have to find a new go-to.” Michael agreed before informing him, “So normally, for a wrap-up, I read off messages I got when people donate. I don’t like to do it during the stream because it’s distracting, especially with you here, so mind if I do that now?”

“Yeah, no, go ahead.” Jeremy affirmed.

“Alright, jumping right in then.” Michael read off the username of the first donor and thanked them for their donation before squinting at the message, “Well… Straight to the point, I see.” He chuckled awkwardly before turning to Jeremy, “So the question is, are you my boyfriend, Jeremy?”

Jeremy sat up straight and rigid as a board, the entirety of his face, neck, and ears turning bright red, “W-what? M-Michael, I-” For the most part, Jeremy had kicked his stuttering with help from the Squip, and it had carried over even now, but when he got nervous, he would sometimes forget to correct his speech.

Michael turned back to the camera, “I told you specifically to go easy on him. See? You broke him. But in answer to your question, no, Jeremy isn’t my boyfriend, there’s a great gal at our school named Christine who claimed that honor. The two of us are totally platonic. Though I have third-wheeled on a few of their dates, really cute couple. Solid 7/10 on Yelp would third-wheel again.” Jeremy seemed to settle somewhat as Michael read off the rest of the messages, most with game tips, thanking Michael for his content, or just saying it was nice to finally see Jeremy. As he finished and the credits stopped, Michael said, “Well, that was a bit of a short stream, but… Jeremy, if you’re up for it, you want to do a little Q&A with chat?” As he enlarged their camera view again for the viewers.

“I guess…” Jeremy said quietly, leaning in closer to Michael to see what the chat was asking.

Beaming, Michael scooted over a bit to allow Jeremy better access to the screen and read, “Alright, first question I see is-” He stopped then, “No. No, I’m not answering that one.”

“Why, what’s it-?” Then Jeremy saw exactly what Michael was looking at and turned to him in disbelief, “Michael! You had a crush and didn’t tell me? You told the entire world EXCEPT me?”

“That’s, uh… Next question.” Michael quickly scrolled away from the offensive message, but Jeremy wasn’t letting it go.

“No. No, you’re answering that one. It’s not from them anymore, it’s from me, and I know where you live.” Jeremy said before clarifying, as if he had done this before, “Someone said ‘I’ve been watching your streams for a while now, and at the start, you mentioned having a crush on some guy at school that never saw you that way. Is that Jeremy?’ I know for a fact it’s not me, but now I have to know who it actually is.”

Michael scrubbed his hands over his face, pushing his glasses up out of the way in order to do so before finally letting them fall back over his eyes as he pulled his hands away. “Better idea- let’s turn the stream off and go back to what we were doing before and never, ever stream together again.”

“Turn it off all you want, you’re not getting away from me.” Jeremy said pointedly, glancing back at chat for a moment and noticing that this had become quite the hot topic there, “Why are you all saying it’s me? Just to read off a few- ‘It’s Jeremy.’ ‘It’s SO Jeremy,’ ‘Look at his face,’ ‘omg it IS him-’ Okay, so I guess this is turning into a Q&A from me to you guys then, what the hell have I been missing with these streams? What do you know that I don’t?”

Michael immediately reached to unplug the box, but Jeremy held him down, “Not until you answer the question. What have you been telling them? Who is it?”

Truly, it was a blessing that Jeremy and Michael had smoked before the stream, because if he didn’t have weed in his system, Michael was quite certain he’d be having a panic attack, “It’s not a big deal, it was a stupid crush and I’m over it, and it didn’t even last long, I was just really needing to talk to someone that day and you were… You weren’t talking to me at the time. But it was gone by the time we started talking again so I didn’t bring it up, so don’t even worry about it. It’s over and done, let’s just move on. Stupid hormonal teenager phase, nothing we need to dwell on. You and I both know we don’t like dwelling on that part of our lives.”

Seeming to understand, Jeremy let go of Michael and sat back, an apologetic look crossing his features, “I’m sorry Micha…”

“No, it’s fine, just forget it, okay? I don’t want to talk about what happened in front of them.” Michael soothed.

“It’s not fine, and they’re already asking what happened.” Jeremy said, gesturing to the screen before turning to face the camera, “I won’t go into detail because I really don’t think you’d even believe me if I did, but the short version is, I was… I went through a sort of phase of my own, and during that time I was a complete dick to Michael. I ignored him entirely, and on the one occasion I couldn’t ignore him, I said some really hurtful things that I can never take back, but he’s such a good friend he stuck with me anyway. He pulled me out of that rut and got me back to… well, normal as can be I guess. During that phase, I wanted to be popular, and it was a typical guy chasing the girl sort of situation. I did end up with Christine but I really hurt Michael in the process and almost lost myself, too. And I’m sorry, Michael, for everything. What you said before was absolutely true, you stuck to our friendship a lot better than I did, and I don’t think I’ll ever regret anything as much as that for the rest of my life.”

Michael, who actually had tears in his eyes from Jeremy’s heartfelt public apology, threw his arms around Jeremy’s neck, and it took him a moment to calm down enough to remember that they were still live. He peered at chat again and chuckled, rubbing the tears from his eyes, “Shouldn’t have done that. They’re really screaming for us to kiss now.”

It was Jeremy who surprised both Michael and himself by saying, “Well… They did sort of force that long-overdue apology out of me. I guess we can indulge them just this once.” The moment the last word left his lips he went red again, “I-i mean, if you… you know, if you w-want to or… God, I didn’t mean it like that, I-” He was cut off by Michael’s lips colliding with his own.

Michael knew he shouldn’t have done it, on some level. He knew it meant nothing to Jeremy and that he’d end up regretting it, but he just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have his first kiss be with the only one he’d ever  _ wanted _ to kiss. He hadn’t intended to drag it out, just a quick kiss followed by an apology or joke to normalize it, but just as he started to pull back, he felt a pressure on the back of his head and realized Jeremy was actually kissing him back. The range of emotions Michael experienced in that moment was absolutely mind-blowing, and left him entirely incapable of any thought outside of ‘holy shit.’ But just as suddenly as it had started, Jeremy pushed away, stood up, and left a completely dumbstruck Michael staring after him.

It took him a minute of deep breathing and raking his hands through his hair to settle his nerves before he finally remembered- he’d left the stream on. Fuck. He turned back to the camera and said, “Well, that happened. I, uh… Better see if he’s still talking to me, I guess, so I’ll go ahead and end it here. See you guys.” He cut the stream and shut everything down before sending a series of messages to Jeremy.

 

_ P1: Jeremy? _

_ P1:Please _

_ P1: I’m sorry _

_ P1: Don’t be mad _

_ P1: We can talk about this _

_ P1: Can I come over? _

 

Of course, there was no response. Just like that, Jeremy wasn’t talking to him again. Just like that, they were right back to the bathroom on Halloween. Michael finished cleaning up before allowing himself to fall onto his bed and cry. How could he be so stupid? He should have just ignored it, but- Jeremy was the one that brought it up? And then he started kissing back? Why? Experimentation? Was that it? Was Jeremy confused about his sexuality and using Michael as a guinea pig? It would make sense, but wouldn’t he have said something sooner about his confusion? They were best friends, after all, and if he’d asked, Michael would have said yes anyway, but the thought that Jeremy was using him without even giving him context or the option to get out of it just pissed him off.

It was exactly one week from that incident that Michael even felt up to doing anything again. He still hadn’t heard from Jeremy, and maybe that was for the best. His mother was worried, as he hadn’t been eating or sleeping right, but she didn’t try to force him to talk about it. She was always good at knowing when to push and when to pull back, and for that, Michael was eternally grateful. But, he decided, a week was long enough. Time to stop moping around and start trying to enjoy summer. Summer was too short to just wallow in bed through it all and not do anything else. So, ignoring the obvious bags under his eyes, he started up another live stream at his usual time. “Hey guys, sorry for the static silence on my part. Haven’t really been feeling up to much after… after last time. Before you ask, Jeremy isn’t talking to me, so thanks for that.” He let out a shaky breath, “I think today I’m going to do the original Final Fantasy. See how that goes.” He’d been about to minimize his camera view on the feed when, on the screen, he noticed movement in the background- it was just a silhouette, hard to see in the dim light of his basement, and having his noise-cancelling headset on, he hadn’t heard anyone enter the basement, and his mom was at work, so naturally, he was startled into turning around, but nothing could prepare him for what he saw. His heart sank as he pulled one side of his headphones away from his ear, “Jeremy? What… Why are you here?”

“I needed to talk to you.” Jeremy replied quietly, stepping into the light, and although Michael couldn’t hear it through his end, his microphone was managing to pick up both of their voices.

All of his anger and disgust with Jeremy that had been pent up from the last time they’d seen each other, the conclusion Michael had drawn, finally came pouring out, “I don’t want to hear it. You- if you just wanted to see what it was like, you could have asked, you know? I would have said yes, but you didn’t. You just tricked me and used me and wouldn’t even talk about it after. It was a total dick move and I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for it, thirteen years be damned.”

“That- that’s not…” Jeremy hung his head, “I’m  _ sorry _ , Michael.”

“Screw you.” Michael hissed, and was about to turn back to his game when Jeremy pulled something- or several somethings, out of the pocket of his cardigan and let them flutter to the floor. Curiosity getting the better of him, Michael looked down at one that landed by his feet. It was a picture of the two of them from years ago when they went to Coney Island. Jeremy was ultra concentrated on licking a too-big ice cream cone and Michael was just staring at him with a far-off look.

Finally regaining the courage to speak, Jeremy said, “You lied. Your crush isn’t gone… Or, it wasn’t. And it wasn’t short-lived. They were right, weren’t they? It… It was me, and I’ve been so caught up in myself all these years I didn’t even see it.”

Michael inhaled sharply, “It doesn’t matter.” He said firmly, “After you just-”

“I wasn’t expecting you to go along with it!” Jeremy defended, “I didn’t think you’d actually do it, and then you did and it caught me off-guard and I hadn’t been questioning before but I got so confused then and I just… I had to figure it out for myself, Michael, that’s why I didn’t talk to you. You would have tried to play it off like it was nothing but you didn’t want it to  _ be _ nothing. I see that now. I went… I went through old pictures, you know? Like that one, like all of these. They’re all the same. Unless someone explicitly told you to look at the camera, you never did. Your eyes were always on me, always with that look, and I remember people having to tell you to look at the camera, but I always thought you were just camera shy. I never noticed before, but... “ He took a step closer, and Michael a step back in turn. Jeremy sighed, pulling one last photo out of his pocket, “Then I found this one.” He held it out for Michael. “I don’t remember your mom taking it. I must have been half-asleep when she did it, but…”

Hesitantly, Michael took the photo from Jeremy and looked down at it. It was, again, the two of them. This time, it was during a sleepover- one he remembered quite well, it was their Freshman year, first weekend of the school year. They were lying on the floor, snuggled up under a blanket, and Michael was fast asleep- the reflection of Sharknado still playing on the TV clearly visible in the window behind them, but Jeremy wasn’t watching it. He was gazing at Michael’s sleeping face with that same far-off look Michael wore in the Coney Island picture. Michael had never seen this picture- how had Jeremy even gotten it? Clicking his tongue, Michael handed the photo back, “What’s your point?”

“You love me, Michael. You have for a really long time, haven’t you?” Jeremy asked softly.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Michael jammed his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

“It does to me!” There was such pain and desperation in Jeremy’s tone that Michael had to look at him again, seeing those same emotions reflected in his expression. “I’m sorry, Micha, I’m  _ so _ sorry for everything. Not just what happened last time, but before with the-” He remembered the camera then and rephrased, “Halloween and everything. I’ve hurt you so much, so many times, but you’ve always been there for me anyway, and I took you for granted. You were always so reliable I never thought for a second there might come a day where you wouldn’t be there for me. I know I have no right to ask for anything from you, but  _ please… _ Please don’t give up on me now.”

Looking into Jeremy’s eyes had been a mistake. Michael had always had a massive soft spot for the boy and could never tell him no for any reason. It took him a moment, but eventually he asked, “Why were you confused?”

Relieved that he was at least getting a chance to explain himself, Jeremy said, “Because… You’ve been there for me my whole life, and I guess I thought my feelings for you were totally platonic, I knew I loved you, but I thought it was more in a no homo kinda way. I thought everything I felt for you was just normal friendly feelings because I didn’t have anything else to compare to. I didn’t  _ have _ any other friends. I do now, and now I’m starting to sort of tell the difference, but even then I thought it was just because we’d been together so long and you’re my best friend above everyone else. But then you kissed me and I just… I got scared. I scared myself because of how natural my reaction was. I didn’t even think about it, I just started kissing back and- and that doesn’t happen to me. Not even with Christine. There’s always second-guessing involved, always trying to figure out some way to get out of it or end it quickly so I don’t come off as too horny or desperate or whatever. But when it was you, I didn’t think about any of that, and for once I actually  _ should _ have. I should have thought about Christine and how you’re my best friend and won’t that make things weird, but I didn’t. It felt so right and it felt so good, and looking at those pictures… Especially this one…” He waved the one Michael had given back to him, “It made me realize why. I don’t know when or how, but somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing you as my best friend and started seeing you as a permanent fixture in my life. The one who was always there for me with every bit of love and support I needed, never asking for anything in return. Somehow, somewhere along the way, you crawled so deep into my heart that I couldn’t imagine a future without you in it, and you became a part of it, and without even realizing, I fell in love with you.”

Michael had been searching, the entire time Jeremy was speaking, for some sign of deception. Waiting for him to say ‘just kidding’ or ‘no homo’ and play it all off as a joke, a sick prank… But he found nothing there. Apparently, though, he had been silently contemplating for too long, because Jeremy asked quietly, “Am I too late?” That same old, familiar, uncertain Jeremy was back.

Shaking his head, Michael’s expression softened, “Not by a long shot.” He held his arms out toward Jeremy, who collapsed into them immediately, burying his face in Michael’s shoulder and apologizing over and over, “It’s alright, Jeremy. I forgive you, always.”

They remained this way for a moment before Jeremy pulled back slightly and asked, “C-can I…?” He leaned in, unable to actually say the word, but Michael understood and they shared a second kiss, sweeter and slower than the last, but with a promise of more to come, but in the course of it, Jeremy’s hand found it’s way to Michael’s cheek and brushed against the headset, making him realize- shit. He pulled back suddenly, though he cursed his reaction when he saw the hurt in Michael’s expression, “I- no, Michael, it’s not- it’s just- are you still live?”

Michael’s eyes widened at the realization and he pushed away from Jeremy, scrambling back to the screen to read the chat. “Shit. Well… Looks like you heard it here first, guys. I’m officially off the market.” He gave a goofy grin, reading the comments, mostly congratulatory, but some asking to see the photos Jeremy brought. “You want to see them? Really? I mean, we were pretty cute as kids, I don’t really know what happened-”

“Acne and puberty.” Jeremy interjected, coming up behind Michael and wrapping his arms around his waist, resting his chin on Michael’s shoulder with a grin the other could see reflected in the playback of the stream.

“We’ll talk about it and maybe I’ll scan some of them for you next time, maybe not. But for now, I’m sorry you didn’t get to see what you came for today, but I think Jeremy and I have some catching up to do, so I’ll see you soon, guys!” And with this, he shut down the stream.

**Author's Note:**

> I mentioned RT earlier, so anyone reading this who knows him probably saw this coming. Thank you, John Denver.
> 
> Almost heaven, West Virginia  
> Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River  
> Life is old there, older than the trees  
> Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze  
> Country roads, take me home  
> To the place I belong  
> West Virginia, mountain mama  
> Take me home, country roads  
> All my memories gather round her  
> Miner's lady, stranger to blue water  
> Dark and dusty, painted on the sky  
> Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye  
> Country roads, take me home  
> To the place I belong  
> West Virginia, mountain mama  
> Take me home, country roads  
> I hear her voice, in the morning hour she calls me  
> The radio reminds me of my home far away  
> And driving down the road I get a feeling  
> That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday  
> Country roads, take me home  
> To the place I belong  
> West Virginia, mountain mama  
> Take me home, country roads  
> Country roads, take me home  
> To the place I belong  
> West Virginia, mountain mama  
> Take me home, country roads  
> Take me home, down country roads  
> Take me home, down country roads
> 
> I love you all. Also, if um... If anyone reading this wants to draw those pictures I mentioned, I'd be absolutely ecstatic and showcase them.


End file.
